Clearing The Mind for Maximum Happiness

How can you know for sure if you’re living on par with what’s meant for you if you’re never checking in with yourself? I used to always check in with myself. I would pause and think about life, what I needed and what I wanted.

2 weekends a month my kids were gone, while the oldest was gone more frequently, it was 4 days per month I got without kids for the longest of time. This was during my co-parenting chapters. I remember loving those weekends. Of course, I didn’t love them at first. I missed my children dearly, but as they got older and the co-parenting scene became my normal, I started to appreciate those 4 days a month.

I could hang with friends and drink. I could work extra hours. I could go shopping without a child in tow. I could just lay down and sleep all day. I mean the options were endless. Sure, I missed my kids. The trio is my world, but I understood the separation of us allowed the trio and me to be stronger when we were together.

I know having that break helped me retain some part of a life I needed. I was able to check in with myself. I was able to adjust the sails as needed. I was, in essence, forced to slow down and reconnect with myself 4 times per month. And man how I miss those 4 days a month!

I truly do.

It’s not that the kids are harder. I mean one has left the nest, and the other two are teenagers with their own social lives of interests so I am here helping and being a Mama but it’s not like it was back then. The mom job isn’t as demanding right now but here I am longing for 4 days away from this normal life I started to build in 2019.

I never had time to reconnect with myself. I never had time to practice more self reflection as I had in the past … or what I mean to say is …

that I wasn’t MAKING TIME to reconnect with myself. Not that the time didn’t exist.

It was a nice break from the prior few years, being in peaceful mode and not having people ask too much of me, but now that the dust has settled and I find myself with more relaxing hours, I wonder, “is this the life for me”? What is it that I am missing or yearning for right now? Why is it my gut is starting to ache and my heart is yearning for something more?

Do not confuse these statements with having to do with human beings, no. These are simply questions about what my soul wants next. I finally have a chance to breathe for the first time in about 4 or 5 years plus and I am simply wondering if survival mode had me building something that isnt’ quite right for my current chapter …

This is something only I can answer and resolve to figure out. This is why I’m longing for time away with my thoughts. I just want to do what I preach; practice my duties of self-refection using the workbook guide that’s helped others (and me) reconnect with what they want, who they want, and where they want to be.

It’s my time to put my skills as a goal success life coach to work again … but this time? On myself! Yes, I am calling myself out. I am calling myself out of survival mode, and to reconnect with who I am, where I am at, and where I feel I am meant to be in this chapter right here.

I can’t answer that until I sit alone in the quiet of my thoughts and reflect upon how far I’ve come and how much further I wish to go. Only then can I answer the question of “what’s the right move for my next chapter?!”

This, my friends, is what growing is all about. You have to learn to evaluate yourself more than you do others so that you’re constantly doing your best and bringing your best self to the table with every situation in your life; but most importantly that you’re doing things that feel honest to YOU. This is hard for someone like me who doesn’t want to hurt others and struggles with boundaries still, but hard doesn’t mean impossible.

If I can continue to learn, and grow, and reflect to be better & do better, then I am confident that you can too!  

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